I’ve been having trouble organizing my thoughts lately.  Maybe it’s that I’m spread too thin with an excessively long To Do list and a fair number of personal and professional commitments, but I think it’s more than that.

I’m seeing a lot of talk-talk in pro-freedom circles lately that, for many reasons, is driving me away from both those circles and some of the friends I’ve made within them.  I won’t go into all the intricacies of what’s bugging me—at this point, I’m not certain I could write it all out given the jumble of meandering pathways my mind is taking—but there’s one theme in particular that is repelling me more strongly than others.

To put it bluntly, I find myself worn out after 4 years of blathering from each person who has taken it upon himself to give life coaching on how to “live free,” while adding that “the end is coming”.  There are some variations on this theme, but generally the One True Path involves quitting one’s job, moving to some remote corner of some place and away from cities, growing all one’s food… and, I don’t know, weaving burlap clothing or some such self-sufficient thing.  Too often, these admonishments neglect both perfectly valid reasons for NOT living in that manner and, more importantly, ignores the vastness of variability within the human race that justifies choices not in accordance with those instructions.

I suppose it’s getting to me now only because I’m hearing it from people I consider to be friends.  I see them becoming more staunched in their insistence that living their way is the One True Path to freedom, and less accepting of the creed of “to each their own”.  They smile reassuringly when I explain my motives, assuring me that yes, they understand why I’ve made my choices, and then go right back to insisting that anyone–nay, everyone–who has made those same choices is in denial about things to come, the implication being that only an idiot would make those choices that don’t coincide with the One True Path.

Over the summer, I’ve given considerable thought to relocating.  Very few people know this—in fact, I never even mentioned it to the friends I have in the location I’m considering, not because I’m feeling particularly secretive, but because it’s so early and might easily not come to fruition.  I’ve even gone so far as to have some preliminary discussions with some people where I work about the possibility of working remotely from the new location; so far, this idea has been well-received by my supporters here at the office.  If I have enough influential people on board with that plan, my career would be as portable as any of my possessions, obliterating a significant road block to relocation: namely, the potential new home has little in the way of employment opportunities I’d want or enjoy.  There are other hurdles, and as I said, this is very, very preliminary, but having a means to support myself is one of the larger problems to solve before any move could be made.

But this recent spate of rabid “live my way or you’re fucked” rhetoric has made me question whether relocating would be in my best interests, and whether I’d be relocating for the right reasons.  I suppose it can be said that anything done in self-interest which doesn’t violate the Zero Aggression Principle DOES involve the right reasons, but that’s not enough justification for such a major uprooting of my life, a life that, for once, I set up as a concrete goal.  I don’t want to relocate only to become rabid and unyielding in the belief that my path is, too, the One True Path.

And I’m wondering if not relocating will cost me those friendships, as occasionally it seems that mere belief in the same philosophies (and practicing them to the extent possible) is insufficient to maintain friendships with some pro-freedom people.  There is considerable pressure to go full-bore to pass the freedom purity tests cast out like so many land mines.   One false move and—BANG!  You’re a statist moron.  The irony here is that I’d expect pro-freedom to mean that one is more accepting of human variability and choice, not less so.

I certainly am not laying blame here.  It’s my life, and I’ll figure out how best I should live it.  Right now I see a lot of doors open to me, and I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the options, pros, cons, ramifications, potentials, and obstacles that come with picking any one of those doors.  But it’s difficult not to internalize and take personally that commentary that most definitely lumps me, even unintentionally, in some way with those my friends disapprove of so vehemently, and even more difficult not to tally that up in the “con” column when weighing the decision to move.

Perhaps a break from the internet entirely is in order while I collect my thoughts and take a bit of a breather.

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